
The Swine Flu, Hepititis, Plague express
Everyone in Los Angeles is terrified about Swine Flu, which they really shouldn’t be because no one in Los Angeles ever interacts with other people. Your average Los Angelino is face-to-face with an average of two real people per month (made-up stat), and it tends not to be the person who gets Swine Flu.
But their problem is that on the oft-chance that they are around someone with the disease, they’re screwed because they haven’t built up their immune system. I, on the other hand, will be perfectly fine because I ride the bus.
Do you have any idea how much the Los Angeles Metro strengthens the immune system? I’ve had diseases that don’t even have names because they can only exist in the stale environment of the Vermont Boulevard rapid line.
I think I’ve already had Swine Flu a half-dozen times in the last month. People bring their cattle and livestock on the bus with them, it’s really nothing new.
You car-drivers are the ones in trouble. Yeah your odds are low because you never have to talk to another human being, but on the chance that you encounter the disease, you’re screwed. You’re not ready. You’ve never been on the bus.
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April 28th, 2009
maxlance1
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Max Lance is a writer, producer and performer. He was nominated for a Student Emmy, Humanitas Fellowship and was a finalist for the Page Screenplay Award. He writes features, TV and syndicates his blog while hosting the travel show The Trip Next Door and working at Chernin Entertainment. A New York City native, Max graduated the USC film school and now lives in Los Angeles.