Max Lance

The V Train’s Demise Makes It The Conan O’Brien Of Subway Lines

Where are all the Coco supporters today in news that the unloved and slighted V train is going to be eliminated under the new budget cuts? The V was hardly given a chance to shine and it showed moments of brilliance before having the axe handed down because the MTA panicked over expenditures.

The V train was the masturbating bear of subway lines, mostly because there would frequently be someone masturbating on the train. This also stretches to Vomitting Kermit since it would travel to the 2nd Avenue stop where NYU freshman would get wasted thanks to their crappy fake IDs only working in bars on Avenue B.

Imagine if it had time to grow, it easily could have competed with the old-school late night stalwarts of subway lines in the 6 and B trains, but replacing it with the M of all lines is a huge slap in the face.

The M train isn’t the Jay Leno of trains, it’s not even the Dan Rather or the Craig Ferguson. It’s somewhere between the old disheveled patchwork Joan Rivers of trains and the desperate, pleading, fallen-preppy “Can I have my job back” Craig Kilborn of trains. It’s bad enough to cancel the V line, but to replace it with a train that goes to Middle Village and Fresh Pond Road seems drastic.

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Has anyone ever really ridden the M? I don’t just mean the three readers of this blog, but has the M train actually ever been ridden in all of history? Its stops sound like rejected names for Hari Krishna retreats. Fresh Pond Road, Seneca Avenue, Forest Avenue. The M train must have a three-to-one train to passenger ratio.

Considering that the V did the thankful job of separating the rich fake Lower East Side poseurs who got off at 2nd Avenue from the genuine poor fake Brooklyn poseurs who had to take the F, the V doesn’t deserve this kind of ending. At least the W goes out by being replaced by a classic like the N (similar how the 9 was swallowed up by the 1), but the MTA and NBC should both be embarrassed by this ending.

One comment

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Max Lance. Max Lance said: Been a while since I posted an article. The V train's demise makes it the Conan O'Brien of subway lines: http://ow.ly/1tQrU […]

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