Max Lance Typing

The Indisputable Top Ten Movies of 2009


Counting down for these to line my den...any day now.

All those other top ten movies of 2009 lists, namely the Golden Globes and Oscars are knockoffs. This list is correct and irrefutable, unless you like overrated movies, like District 9 and Paranormal Activity, in which case you’d like to be popular, which probably wouldn’t land you here. Here we go…

Just missed the cut: The Hangover, An Education, Anvil, Adventureland and A Serious Man

10. Star Trek

Despite approaching the time line aspect in such a confusing way that you have no choice but to go along with it, solid action movie and Simon Pegg is funny.

9. The Cove

This is partly on the list because it was good and partly on the list so that I seem like a more important person than you.

8. Up In The Air

Super-convoluted theory that the guy died, or was dying (i.e., the Cancer/Can, Sir scene, meeting the God-like captain and flying over the clouds with V.O.). Mid-life crisis people loved it too much, but it wasn’t bad.

7. In The Loop

Best pure comedy of the year. People swearing and insulting each other for an hour and a half is always awesome. This year’s In Bruges.

6. (500) Days of Summer

I’m tired of mopey male romantic comedy leads who aren’t confident, but the storyline thing was original.

5. Up

Old people rule. More movies with old people. And by that I mean will anyone read my script about old people?

4. Precious

And it just puts you in a great mood because you know that no matter how bad of a day you’re having, it won’t come close to this girl’s best day.

3. Hurt Locker

The safest choice for people to say it was a great movie. Almost on par with the portrayal of terrorism in the opening scene of The Naked Gun.

2. Avatar

The biggest-budget threat to homeless people to stop living in trees of all time.

1. Fantastic Mister Fox

Pretentious Wes Anderson at his most pretentious-y. In a good way.

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