December 11th, 2009 
maxlance1 Personalized file-format that allows Word files you create to only work on your computer. Auto-crash mode will allow MS Office to crash your computer every ten minutes, down from every thirty. Random-font generator opens your files in a new wacky font code that cannot be changed for your protection. Auto-table turns any essay over ten [...]
Posted in technology 
Tags: apple, Bill Gates, clippy, computer programs, computers, excel, internet, mac, microsoft, microsoft 2010, microsoft office 2010, MS Office, nerds, office, office 2010, powerpoint, robots, software, technology, windows, windows 7, windows vista, windows xp, word 
No Comments » October 29th, 2009 maxlance1 Where’s the advanced, new media, web 2.0, integrated social platforming cell phone for those of us who still enjoy their 1990s technology? Sure you can listen to MP3s on your Apple iPhone. You can do business on your Blackberry, do your social networking on your Gphone and have GPS with the new Drone, but where [...]
Posted in Uncategorized Tags: cell phones, compuserve, drone, gphone, internet, iphone, phone, phones, technology No Comments » April 22nd, 2009 maxlance1 One of the nice things about being a broke college student is that you don’t have to worry about things like identity theft. In fact, my financial situation is so bad that I’ve actually developed pity for someone who steals my identity. What are the criminals really going to walk away with? Upwards of $50,000 [...]
February 20th, 2009 maxlance1 I went down to D.C. last weekend, a city with permanent residents who are douche bag lawyers mixed with temporary tourists who are fat, stupid southerners. This makes me not understand why there was a problem when they had a crack head mayor. My friend recommended I take the DC2NY Bus which turned out to be a [...]
Posted in Uncategorized Tags: cheap, internet, new york, privacy, technology, transportation, wi-fi No Comments » February 20th, 2009 maxlance1 I was watching a baseball game with a Japanese hitter at the bat and the advertisement behind home plate switched to one for Nintendo Wii. Thing was, the Japanese translation required four Japanese characters to express Wii. This is beyond me, because it takes one Japanese character to spell out an entire sentence for the [...]
Posted in Uncategorized Tags: games, japanese, language, nintendo, technology, translations, video games, wii No Comments » February 17th, 2009 maxlance1 It’s been noted before that old people suck at new technology. I get frightening e-mails in response when I send an attached file to my grandma. These responses tend to include about a hundred exclamation and question marks requesting detailed instructions as to how the story I was sharing managed to crash her computer. But I shouldn’t [...]
Posted in Uncategorized Tags: communication, computers, future, old people, senior citizens, technology, teleporting No Comments »
Crazy Girls, the number one bestseller on the Amazon Kindle Singles, is available for download from Amazon. Pills, drugs, alcohol, religious nuts, depression, cheating and the NYPD; comedian and writer Max Lance recounts his worst nights from the New York City dating scene. DOWNLOAD HERE
Max Lance is a writer, producer and performer. He was nominated for a Student Emmy, Humanitas Fellowship and was a finalist for the Page Screenplay Award. He writes features, TV and syndicates his blog while hosting the travel show The Trip Next Door and working at Chernin Entertainment. A New York City native, Max graduated the USC film school and now lives in Los Angeles.
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