April 10th, 2010 
maxlance1 The explosion in tensions in Kyrgyzstan this week showed how susceptible governments are if they oppress citizens and command a weak police presence. We have all learned that you can’t keep citizens from the vowels they deserve. I’m not exactly sure where Kyrgyzstan is located. I tried searching for it on Google Maps, but instead [...]
Posted in language, news, travel, war 
Tags: afghanistan, balkans, consonants, current events, daily show, english, government, history, jokes about Kyrgyzstan, jokes on current events, kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Kyrgyzstan jokes, Kyrgyzstan news, Kyrgyzstan overthrow, Kyrgyzstan revolt, Kyrgyzstan revolution, Kyrgyzstan riots, Kyrgyzstan unrest, language, language jokes, military, netherlands, news, news jokes, Obama, poland, post soviet countries, post soviet future, post soviet states, press, russia, soviet bloc, soviet union, troops, unrest, vowels, war, weekend update 
No Comments » January 18th, 2010 maxlance1 Whenever it rains in New York, the street vendors come out in full force to hawk umbrellas, but I could never figure out why they were more aggressive with their sales pitch than any other person along Times Square. The knockoff wallet dude is always chill, sitting along the sidewalk playing dominoes with cell phone [...]
Posted in language, new york Tags: africa, africans, cell phone covers, cheap bags, cheap gucci, cheap prada, communications, confused, cultural differences, english, foreign, foreigners, imitation, immigrants, immigration, knockoff bags, knockoff wallets, language, language barrier, misunderstanding, new york, new york city, new york salesmen, nyc, olde english, rain, street vendors, umbrella, umbrellas, united states, wallets, water No Comments » January 15th, 2010 maxlance1 I just saw the preview for The Spy Next Door, which finally combines the movies Spy Kids and Rear Window, and it just seems a little surprising that Jackie Chan still speaks English as well as the hostess at my local Wok Don’t Run. Avatar invented an entire race, with its own language, culture and [...]
Posted in entertainment, Favorites, Movies, Uncategorized Tags: 3-d, 3d, 3d movies, avatar, bruce lee, cgi, children, chinese, chow yung fat, english, jackie chan, karate, kids, kids movies, kung fu, kung fu panda, martial arts, martial arts movies, rush hour, shanghai noon, spy, spy kids, spy next door, spying, the spy next door No Comments » January 11th, 2010 maxlance1 People knock Mandarin for being a tricky language because the emphasis on a certain syllable can make a word’s meaning be either “I love you,” or, “Your mother’s a whore” (although I don’t know what the Chinese is for, “I love your whore mother”). It’s a tonal language with a lot of sounds and vocal [...]
Posted in Dating, relationships Tags: boyfriends, breaking up, breakups, calligraphy, cheating, china, dating, english, english language, ex-girlfriends, fighting, fighting in relationships, fights, fine, flowers, girlfriend, girlfriends, language, linguistics, love, lying, men and women, men vs. women, relationships, sex, three-ways, words No Comments » July 6th, 2009 maxlance1 I hate when you’re flipping through the TV channels and come across a movie you really want to watch, just to find out a split second later that the whole thing has been dubbed in Spanish. Can’t they add English subtitles to the original English movie for these frustrating situations? We gave them the channels [...]
Posted in Uncategorized Tags: english, entertainment, movies, spanish, television, tv shows No Comments » March 27th, 2009 maxlance1 I’ve found that it’s very difficult to be in fight with someone where you’re yelling at him/her in a pure rage of fury and at the same time sustain correct grammar and syntax. It’s an art, really. Either you’re going to sound intelligent and lose the anger, or you’re going to sustain being mad, but [...]
February 19th, 2009 maxlance1 I flew from L.A. back home to New York yesterday (as a side note words don’t exist for me to begin trying to describe how perfect, content and comfortable I feel in this real city versus the bland nothingness of the west coast). But that has little to do with this post. I went into [...]
Posted in Uncategorized Tags: english, foreigners, immigration, language, signs, toilets No Comments » February 19th, 2009 maxlance1 Surely water polo is the most inaccurately-named sport in existence. If the game wasn’t in the water it would not be polo, which is what the name implies. If anything it would be handball, so just call it water handball. For that matter, why not just call it waterball? It kind of sounds like the [...]
February 19th, 2009 maxlance1 I was thinking about the MLS team San Jose Earthquakes and the NHL Colorado Avalanche, and it really bothered me that these mascots are things that are actually very terrifying to the local fans and residents. I’m all in favor of having a mascot be something local, especially when it’s tied into local lore. The [...]
Posted in Uncategorized Tags: disasters, english, language, logos, mascots, mls, soccer, sports No Comments » February 17th, 2009 maxlance1 I’ve always had a problem with the word Priceless. I don’t feel it should be the word to describe something of extraordinary value, but rather should be a synonym for worthless. Take the word tasteless, for example. When you say that a joke is tasteless, you’re saying it’s bad. You’re not saying that it’s so [...]
Posted in Uncategorized Tags: english, expensive, expressions, language, money, priceless, words No Comments »
Crazy Girls, the number one bestseller on the Amazon Kindle Singles, is available for download from Amazon. Pills, drugs, alcohol, religious nuts, depression, cheating and the NYPD; comedian and writer Max Lance recounts his worst nights from the New York City dating scene. DOWNLOAD HERE
Max Lance is a writer, producer and performer. He was nominated for a Student Emmy, Humanitas Fellowship and was a finalist for the Page Screenplay Award. He writes features, TV and syndicates his blog while hosting the travel show The Trip Next Door and working at Chernin Entertainment. A New York City native, Max graduated the USC film school and now lives in Los Angeles.
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