Posts Tagged ‘baseball’

Americans Saying America is The Best Country is The Same As Loud, Fat Sports Fans Saying Their Home Team is The Best

Many people are quick to label America the best country in the world, and there was something about this grand proclamation that struck a cord that I finally placed. It is exactly when loser fans of high-spending winning teams say that their team is the best in the world, yet the fans themselves have never done anything in their lives but cheer on real winners.

America might be the Yankees, Celtics and Steelers, but Americans are the fans of the Yankees, Celtics and Steelers. A bunch of loud and overweight chest-thumping losers who failed to live up to the potential of top players on the field. Instead, we question the decisions of leaders and pick fights with rivals.

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No One Knows How To Count Down A Sports Clock Correctly

This has been a serious pet peeve of mine going on two decades now, and I don’t know where I could send an angry letter regarding this matter. Ideally, this blog post will go so viral that it will never be an issue again, but seriously, can we all, as a public, learn how to [...]

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Why Going to Dodger Games is Like Miranda's Dilema in the Sex and the City Movie

Out of the 18-or-so stadiums I’ve had the chance to visit (that comes off more pathetic than accomplished), there isn’t one that comes close to Dodger Stadium’s disparity between how much I enjoy it and how much I hate it. This is an awful analogy because not only do I have to reveal that I [...]

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Don Mattingly is Eddie Murphy of the Yanks

I haven’t seen much of Don Mattingly in all these recent festivals about the new Yankee Stadium and their historical retrospectives. Although he was a great player, there was something about the fact that he was on losing teams that makes him not fit in with the traditional Yankee lore. Then I realized who this [...]

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Non-Yankee Stadium Ushers

I like going to ball parks at stadiums other than Yankee Stadium, because it would seem as though going to the game is actually an enjoyable pleasant experience that doesn’t make you want to kill people. The difference I immediately notice is the ushers at the competing parks. I was at a game in Colorado [...]

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Dodgers Bleachers

It seems like every year the left field bleachers at Dodger Stadium are increasingly turning into Juarez, Mexico. Granted it’s a fine line between saying that places with an overwhelming number of a certain race are ghetto and not being offensive, but man, those left field bleachers are ghetto. I tried buying Cracker Jacks and [...]

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Rain Tarp Strip Tease

I went to the Yankee game on Wednesday night and rain was expected. Get there a little early, no drizzle yet, but the tarp was down and batting practice had been cancelled just in case. Around ten minutes before game time it started pouring. The good thing about sitting all the way up in the [...]

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L.A. Galaxy Games

I went to a Los Angeles Galaxy Major League Soccer game over the weekend, which I think has the widest spectrum of sports fandom in all sports. You get the full range on the fan hardcore spectrum in the same 20,000-seat arena. It’s the libertarianism of sports. On one side you have die-hard soccer fans [...]

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The Modern Jew

The Modern Jew has nothing to do with religion. You’re pretty much an athiest, but you’re stuck with all these spot-on stereotypes and personality traits that are undeniably Jewish. It’s sort of like being a black person except the exact opposite. These stereotypes include, but are not limited to, living in New York or Los [...]

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