Masturbation is sex for people who don’t want their hair messed up.

What happens during sex that makes hair look like it just stepped outside during a hurricane? I can’t recall the girl giving me a nuggie, although I may have just encroached upon a very original fetish; one that involves nuggies and the girl hitting me with my own arms and saying, “Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself.”

It’s comments like this that amaze me that I get laid in the first place.

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