Max Lance Typing

Lax Safety Precautions On the Romulan Spaceship

Not even a handrail, or Caution sign

Not even a handrail, or Caution sign

Something wasn’t sitting right about the Star Trek movie all weekend, and I finally figured out what it was: the fact that the Romulans have created this incredible technology, yet their spaceship has nothing by way of safety precautions or handrails.

This irked me more than anything about the movie. I got over the whole time-space-continuum thing with the thing about the future not happening yet and how you can rewrite it. The fact that the drill missed the Golden Gate Bridge by like eight inches, totally cool. Even that Tyler Perry was in the credits, but I couldn’t spot him (Madea Goes to Space?), but the idea that Romulans in the year 2234 didn’t have one handrail was ridiculous.

It seemed as though the most efficient way to get around the ship was to leap thirty-feet over death-defying gaps, when one slip-up means plunging thousands of feet to certain death. How about a stair case?

Why would anyone design their spaceship after an M.C. Escher painting?

And of course one of the bad guys gets pushed off the platform and dies, but surely they were due. If you simply have a minor slip or decide to play Pin the Tail on the Donkey then someone is going to die. Clearly there are no Jewish mothers amongst the Romulan people.

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