I don’t want this to get too pervy, but surely I can’t be the only one who has noticed how hot the lady chipmunks are at the end of the trailer for Alvin and The Chipmunks 2: The Squekquel.
Let’s put two things aside for starters. Yes, they are rodents and they could be young. These two things make it kind of creepy, but other than that, I think I have a solid case. And the youth thing is very borderline. I think the movie is supposed to take place in high school, which could very easily put them at seventeen-year-old chipmunks, which isn’t that bad at all.
I would go far enough to argue that the video in the film is better than the Beyonce original. No offense to Beyonce or Taylor Swift, they’re great and Imma let you finish, but those lady chipmunks have some crazy CGI-generated booty moves that you can’t really get from real live women.
Let’s imagine for the sake of argument that the lady chipmunks – or Chippets as they’re billed in the trailer – are human size. They have some unbelievable ass-shaking moves that I’ve never seen before. The lead singer is all up in the crowd’s grill, and the backup dancers don’t help matters either. Essentially, Fox Animation has merged chipmunks with extras in a Flava Flav video. And it’s awesome.
The girl in blue is a little buttoned-up, but that just hints at the inhibited sexy girl who you know is kind of freaky, like Nikki in Big Love. Then green over there is totally the Girls Gone Wild fat chick who will do anything for attention once you get a shot of Yager in her. I hate that this crosses my mind when it comes to cartoon chipmunks, but am I really the only one?
Beyonce had an endless supply of money to produce a great music video, but instead we got this weird black-and-white leotard anthem that might as well be subtitled (And I still don’t want no scrubs). Way to hold up your ring-less hand and sing about all the single ladies. What a message.
But when the Chippets sing it, it could have all these underlying meanings about what global warming is doing to the ecosystem and how all the single lady chipmunks don’t have much of a choice because their species is being eradicated. And on top of that, one of the singers is the hefty girl from every bar in Cancun.
I also like in the Chippets clip how David Cross – who got famous from railing against crappy, hoakey, Hollywood crap movies – has a wide smile plastered on his face while he films animated chipmunks.
I get it. I know why you’re smiling David. It’s not just the paycheck. Those are some hot chipmunks.