Max Lance Typing

Homeless Shopping Cart Balancing

Resume is in there somewhere

Resume is in there somewhere

Ever see a homeless guy who’s so organized and efficient at collecting empty bottle and soda cans that you’re shocked he’s unemployed and homeless?

Every time I see one of those people (and by ‘those people,’ obviously I mean black people), it doesn’t cease to baffle me. Not because of the fact that they’re doing it, but because they do it with such gusto that surely they could be better than me at any job I’ve ever had.

I’m talking about the guys with hooks and pulleys and levers and balanced equilibrium put into motion. The shopping cart is more like a tow truck than a broken grocery transporter.

It’s like they’ll equalize the torque by factoring the weight of each specific soda can measured exponentially against the rotational force rationalized off the decreasing density from a 40 of Miller Genuine Draft. But somehow, they can’t get their resume together and get a job. You can have mine, because I will never be smart enough to do yours.

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