Max Lance Typing

Euthanasia Could Solve Health Care, Social Security and the Dearth of Good Primetime Reality Shows

Right to Die: Coming this Fall only on Fox

Right to Die: Coming this Fall only on Fox

It seems like every argument over abortion, health care, right-to-die and euthanasia always comes down to pro-life and pro-choice. But where’s the other end of the spectrum? Pro-life seems very right wing. Pro-choice seems very centrist – do what you like – but where is the far left-wing opinion? The pro-death people if you will. If you use the argument that people who want to die should be able to, then you can help ease health care, social security and the primetime T.V. schedule coming up with ways to satisfy those demands.

Granted that sounds a bit murky to say the least, so they’d need a new title or a serious p.r. man, but I think you could make a legitimate argument for the pro-death stance.

This doesn’t advocate going around killing people, but it’s sort of the far end of the extreme of keeping people on life support when, by all measure, they’ve been dead for a decade. Or, same thing goes for people who have worked in a cubicle for twenty years, they’re in their seventies, single, no kids. Basically me if nothing changes in fifty years. I would deserve to go.

We could solve numerous problems if braindead senior citizens had to make the case for wanting to die: health care, which spends an insane amount of money keeping people on life support; social security, which is could go bankrupt; and Fox’s Fall schedule, which is still desperately seeking a new American Idol-type reality show.

Let’s say I keep going at the rate where I’m currently headed. Crap job, zero career prospects, single, nothing to my name, no kiddies, headed towards baldness, clinging to decent shape thanks to no social life allowing me to play sports. Let’s stay on this track for another forty years, do you really want to pay for me to keep chugging along for these stupid blog posts? Really? Or, would you spend five minutes with Fox watching me plead desperately for why a death squad shouldn’t put me out of my rightful misery? You would totally sit through a commercial break to stick around for Simon Cowell’s decision.

I’m not getting all Nazi-like either. I don’t think retarded people should be killed. Because retarded people are very entertaining. And they keep the World Wrestling Entertainment in business, which creates jobs.

But if an old guy can make the case that he shouldn’t be around anymore, why stop him, y’know?

It seems as though the only way the guy can be put out of his misery is if he commits a lethal crime and gets the death penalty. Then it seems all right with Fox News to end a life, right? Well, what if we get the killers to take care of the suicidal? We can save on producing anti-depressants, spend less money on prisons, save money on social security, ease pressure on health care and put it all on television for a fantastic night with the family.

And all this thanks to my day job that let’s me do a little bit of blogging. Maybe I’ll keep going after all.

Leave reply

Login to post a comment.

Back to Top