Archive for the ‘sports’ Category

Do We Really Need the Riot Fence For the Women’s World Cup?

As one of a small collection of die-hard American soccer fans, I strongly support the U.S. Women’s National Team in pursuit of the Women’s World Cup trophy. I remember Brandi Chastain sending in the tournament-winning goal in ’99 and followed their early oust in the ’03 and ’07 tournaments. But those riot fences behind the [...]

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Americans Saying America is The Best Country is The Same As Loud, Fat Sports Fans Saying Their Home Team is The Best

Many people are quick to label America the best country in the world, and there was something about this grand proclamation that struck a cord that I finally placed. It is exactly when loser fans of high-spending winning teams say that their team is the best in the world, yet the fans themselves have never done anything in their lives but cheer on real winners.

America might be the Yankees, Celtics and Steelers, but Americans are the fans of the Yankees, Celtics and Steelers. A bunch of loud and overweight chest-thumping losers who failed to live up to the potential of top players on the field. Instead, we question the decisions of leaders and pick fights with rivals.

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Football Was Better Back When Doctors Thought Concussions Were Just a Case of the Head Dizzies

Football is supposed to be a violent sport and we need to stop letting doctors getting in the way. If our favorite sport is going to return to its glory days of brutes running haphazardly through mud and snow then that’s where our understanding of brain matter must return as well.

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Mount Baldy Hike

Mount San Antonio (better known as Mount Baldy) at 10,068 feet is the highest point in Los Angeles County and the third-tallest mountain in Southern California. Pretty easy to find, with well-marked trails, take the 210 to Mount Baldy Road and keep going up. There are three trails to the top, and we took the [...]

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Is Ronaldo’s Bastard Son Eligible For the U.S. National Team?

With the exciting news that Cristiano Ronaldo knocked up an American hottie (one of our best exports) and is now trying to play it off as a cover-up/surrogate situation, the United States national team might have finally turned a corner in international soccer. This is the break that Sunil Gulati and Bob Bradley have needed [...]

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How Have Serbians Preserved An Entire Ethnicity of People Who All Look Drunk?

Serbia seems to have produced an entire nation of citizens who all look like they are drunk

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Auto-Reply E-mail: Drunk In The Office For the World Cup

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7 Worst 2010 World Cup Jerseys

7. United States Hooray, we won a beauty pageant. Oh, wait, our entire back line is recovering from crippling injuries and we’re stuck with a jersey with a white-on-white sash on the front. The USA jersey is a poor throwback to the 1950 England win, but maybe these will distract the Brits. 6. Portugal The [...]

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7 Best 2010 World Cup Jerseys

We are almost one month away from the biggest global sporting event. More than a billion people worldwide will be glued to televisions despite all your soccer hating. Soccer jerseys (or footie kits) are as much of a business worldwide as your Kobe replica threads, so here’s my rundown on the best and worst of [...]

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Can We Make The “Marty Jannetty” A Common Expression?

As an aspiring writer and stand-up, I constantly have to wonder how useless I truly am. I can go on the full scale of all human beings, on which scale I look pretty good. Most people have crappy day jobs, barely get by and loaf on their ass, in which case, I’m sort of interesting. [...]

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