January 20th, 2012 
maxlance1 *Crap, I wrote this then found out that NY Magazine did essentially the article first. Meh, mine is better. Watching the screeners for the 2012 Oscars and keeping up with the GOP debates makes me feel an identical apathy for this year’s crop of movies and Republicans. Whether they lulled in the race until one [...]
Posted in America, entertainment, Movies, news, Politics 
Tags: 2012, 2012 best movie, 2012 gop candidates, 2012 gop nominees, 2012 oscar candidates, 2012 oscar nominees, 2012 oscar race and republican race, 2012 oscars, 2012 republican candidates, 2012 republican nominee, 2012 republicans, artist, bain capital, best picture 2012, bridesmaids, conservative party, conservatives, descendants, gingrich, gop, gop nominees, hugo, humor, melancholia, midnight in paris, mitt romney, newt gingrich, oscars and the gop, political comedy, politics, republican party, republican race and oscar race, republicans, republicans and movies, republicans and oscars, rick santorum, romney, romneycare, santorum google, santorum meaning, the artist, the descendants, tree of life 
No Comments » October 24th, 2011 maxlance1 Week in review summary for October 17, 2011 – October 23, 2011. Muammar Gaddafi killed, exotic animals set lose, Republican debates, Real World casting and more.
Posted in America, news, podcasts, television, war Tags: animal comedy, audio, best comedy podcast, comedy, comedy podcast, current events, current events comedy, current events jokes, download, dumb jokes, exotic animals set lose, funniest podcasts, gaddafi summary, humor, international news, jokes about the news, local news, Muammar Gaddafi killed, national news, news comedy podcast, news summary, occupy wall street, political comedy, real world casting, republican debates, silly jokes, the week, the week in review in jokes, week in review, week in review podcast, week in review summary No Comments » April 22nd, 2011 maxlance1 Last week the United States Postal Service announced they mistakenly put the wrong Statue of Liberty on their stamps. Intending to issue a new series of Forever stamps with Lady Liberty, they accidentally took a photo from the archive of the Statue of Liberty at the New York, New York Hotel and Casino in Las [...]
Posted in America, new york, news Tags: america, costumes, funny, hotel and casino, jokes, lady liberty, liberty, new york city statue of liberty, new york hotel and casino, new york new york, stamp collections, stamp collectors, stamp error, stamps, statue of liberty, statue of liberty costume, statue of liberty costumes, statue of liberty mistake, statue of liberty sales person, statue of liberty salesman, statue of liberty stamp error, street corner statue of liberty, usps stamp statue of liberty, usps statue of liberty stamp mistake, usps wrong statue of liberty, wrong statue of liberty No Comments » March 29th, 2011 maxlance1 First was the infamous e-mail circulated by Kappa Sig members detailing sorority girls they’ve slept with. Then there was this week’s new definition of public display of affection – sex on a campus building roof in broad daylight. USC has recently taken part in a massive overhaul of BYU’s honor code. This isn’t to begin [...]
Posted in girls, los angeles, news, relationships, Sex Tags: best fraternaties usc, byu, byu honor code, byu honor code sex, byu honor code violation, college honor code, kappa sig, kappa sig fraternity, kappa sig roof sex, kappa sig rooftop sex, party school rankings, rooftop sex, sex on a building usc, sex on a roof, sexual conquest letter usc, university of southern california, university of southern california roof sex, usc, usc campus sex, usc fraternaties, usc fraternity profiles, usc honor code, usc party school, usc rooftop sex, usc sex letter, usc sex on roof, usc sexual conquest e-mail, usc target e-mail, what is an honor code, what is byu's honor code, what is usc's honor code No Comments » March 28th, 2011 maxlance1 Many people are quick to label America the best country in the world, and there was something about this grand proclamation that struck a cord that I finally placed. It is exactly when loser fans of high-spending winning teams say that their team is the best in the world, yet the fans themselves have never done anything in their lives but cheer on real winners.
America might be the Yankees, Celtics and Steelers, but Americans are the fans of the Yankees, Celtics and Steelers. A bunch of loud and overweight chest-thumping losers who failed to live up to the potential of top players on the field. Instead, we question the decisions of leaders and pick fights with rivals.
Posted in America, Baseball, history, news, sports, war Tags: a-rod, alex rodriguez, america, america is not the best country in the world, america is the best, america is the worst country in the world, americans are like yankee fans, analogies, annoying sports fans, baseball, basketball, best country in the world, bleacher creacher, boston garden, c.c. sabathia, cc sabathia, celtics, fans, funny fan stories, lakers, libya, philadelphia sports fans, political pundit shows, politics, sabathia, sports, sports fans, sports in america, steelers, steinbrenner, td bank north garden, united states, united states of america, war, war in libya, worst sports fans, Yankee Stadium, yankee stadium fans, yankees No Comments » March 22nd, 2011 maxlance1 Typical American news junkie, latching onto the news of the day, the crisis of the week, the humanitarian effort of the month. One world-changing event after another makes us immediately forget the previous crisis that is still ongoing. This is why we must not allow the Japanese earthquake, tsunami and nuclear emergency make us forget [...]
Posted in entertainment, Favorites, health, news, television Tags: california nuclear fallout, celebrities, celebrity meltdown, charlie sheen, charlie sheen custody, charlie sheen divorce, charlie sheen earthquake, charlie sheen japan, charlie sheen kids, charlie sheen meltdown, charlie sheen tickets, charlie sheen tour, charlie sheen tour tickets, charlie sheen warlock, charlie sheen warlord, crisis in japan, doctors without borders, donate money to charlie sheen, donate money to japan, family, iodine nuclear protection, iodine pills, iodine tablets, japan, japan earthquake, japan meltdown, japan tsunami, nuclear fallout, nuclear iodine pills, nuclear iodine tablets, nuclear protection, radiation, radiation preparation, radiation security, red cross, tiger blood tickets No Comments » February 23rd, 2011 maxlance1 The unrest sparked in Tunisia that has spread across North Africa and the Middle East is on the precipice of changing the way that the Arab world sees tits. For decades, autocratic rulers have held all the power when it comes to viewing tits and now citizens are taking to the streets to protest. Whether [...]
Posted in girls, history, news, Politics, race, war Tags: arab girls, bahrain, burka topless, burqa topless, egypt, egyptian protests, iranian revolution, middle east, middle east girls, middle east protests, middle east revolution, middle east tits, middle east unrest, middle eastern girls, muslim girls, naked middle eastern girls, north africa revolution, north african revolutions, nude middle east girls, nude middle easterners, nude muslim girls, oil, oil prices, topless middle east girls, tunisia, tunisia protests, tunisian protests, united arab emrites, unrest, yemen No Comments » September 29th, 2010 maxlance1 The Corn Refiners Association lobbied the Food and Drug Administration to change the name of high fructose corn syrup to corn sugar last week. Here are some options for alternative proposals:
Posted in commercials, food, news Tags: advertising, bad for you, coke, corn, corn byproduct, corn sugar, corn syrup, current events, fat, fatness, fda, food, food and drug administration, food government, food pyramid, health facts, hfcs, hfcs facts, high fructose corn sugar, high fructose corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup facts, how much high fructose corn syrup, jokes, marketing, name change, news, pepsi, rebrand, rebranding, sugar, sugar drinks, sugary drinks, unhealthy food, waste, weight gain, weight loss No Comments » September 23rd, 2010 maxlance1 This post might be a little tricky to pull off due to only a nascent understanding of puns in the native Somali language, but I wonder if Somalia has some version of their own pirate jokes to regale their future raiders and crusaders like we have here. The first question has to be whether the [...]
Posted in language, news, travel, Uncategorized, war Tags: africa, aids, argh, best pirate jokes, crisis, cruises, current events, fertile crescent, funniest pirate jokes, guns, hijacking, horn of africa, hostages, hotel rwanda, kidnapping, military, news, pirate day, pirate jokes, pirate puns, pirates, pirating, raids, rwanda, seas, Somali pirates, somalia, somalia pirates, somalia pirates information, talk like a pirate, talk like a pirate day, war, world issues No Comments » July 16th, 2010 maxlance1 Not one to be outmuscled in the global market, BP has upped the ante on Exxon-Mobil by not just dumping a ship’s worth of oil directly onto seagulls, but has done the favor of directly unleashing the Earth’s supply straight into the water, thus cutting out the middleman of a drunken sailor. It makes you [...]
Posted in news, travel, writing Tags: birds in oil, bp oil spill, canon, cheap print cartridge replacement, cheap printer ink, containment cap, exxon valdez oil spill, gulf of mexico, gulf of mexico beaches, gulf of mexico oil spill, gulf oil spill, helvetica, hp, ink, kayak, kodak, lexmark, man made disasters, natural disasters, oil slick, oil spill, print cartridges, printer ink, printers, times new roman, typing, worst oil spills of all time, writing No Comments »
Crazy Girls, the number one bestseller on the Amazon Kindle Singles, is available for download from Amazon. Pills, drugs, alcohol, religious nuts, depression, cheating and the NYPD; comedian and writer Max Lance recounts his worst nights from the New York City dating scene. DOWNLOAD HERE
Max Lance is a writer, producer and performer. He was nominated for a Student Emmy, Humanitas Fellowship and was a finalist for the Page Screenplay Award. He writes features, TV and syndicates his blog while hosting the travel show The Trip Next Door and working at Chernin Entertainment. A New York City native, Max graduated the USC film school and now lives in Los Angeles.
@MaxLanceComedy Twitter Feed
