Max Lance Typing

The Liberal Sexist

coed-footballI think in some respects I’ve gotten so liberal on them that I’ve come out the other side and have found myself sharing the conservative viewpoint, just by a completely different route.

An example. I play a lot of soccer.

Wait, let me rephrase that. I run around on soccer fields a lot chasing after the ball and completely screw up whenever it’s passed to me. If that’s called playing soccer, then dammit, I’m Pele.

So I find myself playing a lot of soccer, which is fine. Thing is, I tend to date girls who enjoy playing soccer too. I’ve dated ex-college players, pickup aficionados, athletes who want to try the sport, whatever coincidence it is, it tends to apply to girls I date and the sport they enjoy.

The problem is that I’m all for equal rights, very liberal, and am all in favor for girls playing pickup with guys. But it is admittedly a little strange when it’s a very competitive all-male, usually all-Hispanic pickup game, and you’re the guy who brings along Becki or Juli or Staci or whatever Mia Hamm-wannabe you’re dating at the time.

The conservative view is that you’re definitely the asshole in this situation. It’s the men’s game. No women allowed, goodbye sweetie. But I’m finding that the extreme liberal view leads to the exact same conclusion.

At first, liberalness kicks in and you’re like, everyone’s allowed to play. Equal rights, no sexism, girls get in the game and should have the ball passed to them just as much as guys. But then you start thinking about it from the women’s rights point of view.

Now not only can women go everywhere, but women can have their own places to congregate. They have nail salons and massage parlors and America’s Next Top Model Viewing Parties and the theater, and a slew of other places where men aren’t allowed. Of course legally men are allowed inside, but socially men are banned.

So you start thinking that if it’s logically in everyone’s right to be allowed to everywhere. Then take that even further and you start assuming that it’s so acceptable that they should be allowed to have their own places too.

If women can have the nail salons and beauty parlors (are there still beauty parlors, or is that just in the movie That Thing You Do?) and men have collectively agreed to leave those places alone, then just as liberal would be for women to gather at their meetings (at beauty parlors, I assume), to agree that soccer games are men-only.

The conservative would say that sports should be kept as male-only affairs. The liberal would say that sports should be male-only, they’re just taking a very open-minded and left-wing approach to reach that conclusion.

I think this is what a Libertarian is. I should find out.

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