March 27th, 2009 
maxlance1 I’ve found that it’s very difficult to be in fight with someone where you’re yelling at him/her in a pure rage of fury and at the same time sustain correct grammar and syntax. It’s an art, really. Either you’re going to sound intelligent and lose the anger, or you’re going to sustain being mad, but [...]
March 27th, 2009 maxlance1 My friend was telling me that he doesn’t like going on first dates because they feel too much like a job interview. On the flip side, though, I love going on job interviews because they always feel like first dates. When I live in Los Angeles, I miss the pizza, I miss the bagels, but [...]
March 27th, 2009 maxlance1 In my opinion, there’s no question as to the best song of the decade. It’s hands-down that bar mitzvah/crappy wedding song (as in the wedding is crappy, not the song), that starts, “Every-body clap your hands…” It then continues with specific lyrics like, “Sliiiide to the left…sliiiiide to the right.” This is easily the best [...]
March 26th, 2009 maxlance1 If someone is wearing a T-shirt with a joke on it, it’s usually an effective way to tell that said person is not funny. I never understood the mindset of purchasing things so not funny, but it must strike as genius while the moron is wandering through Hot Topic or along Venice Beach. Wearing the [...]
Posted in Uncategorized 
Tags: clothes, comedy, fashion, irony, jokes, pickup lines, t-shirts 
No Comments » March 26th, 2009 maxlance1 I take my time when I’m on the toilet. Nothing excessive, just I get a book or a newspaper and make myself at home, even when I’m out and about. But I recently realized that you know you spend too much time on the toilet when the laser beam automatic flusher just decides that it’s [...]
March 26th, 2009 maxlance1 It’s not that white Jewish men don’t dance. That would be a Semetic and cultural stereotype. More accurately, white Jewish men don’t know how to dance. The stereotypes just come out of that. We collectively have nothing against going to dance clubs and electronica shows and raves. The problem is that we don’t have a [...]
Posted in Uncategorized Tags: dance club, dancing, electronica, music, pickup lines, techno No Comments » March 26th, 2009 maxlance1 I went to the movies yesterday, and for the first time, the characters in the movie I was watching went to the place where I was watching the movie itself. It was bizarre. I had a much-needed night off, so I decided to relax, get away from everything, head for a little escapism, so I [...]
Posted in Uncategorized Tags: entertainment, Judd Apatow, los angeles, malls, movies, shopping, The Grove No Comments »
March 25th, 2009 maxlance1 Loglines, awards, distinctions and summaries of Max Lance’s writing samples, which can be requested off the contact page.
Posted in About Max, Featured Tags: awards, max lance awards, max lance portfolio, portfolio, request, writing samples No Comments » March 24th, 2009 maxlance1 Have you ever taken a job, not because of the benefits package or salary, but because the have the best lunch policy from your job offers? My current company offers a very competitive lunch-bought-for-you-every-day salary offer, which topped any work-for-regular-money offer I had encountered. But the side effects of this were incalculable. It’s not just [...]
Posted in Uncategorized Tags: bad jobs, bored, food, jobs, lunch, money, office, salary No Comments » March 6th, 2009 maxlance1 Do you ever wish that you could take the most appealing qualities from a variety of girls you have dated and assemble them into one megatron-perfect girl? The thing that surprises me the most about this, isn’t the fact that I would do it, but how many qualities I would incorporate to accomplish the feat. [...]
Posted in Uncategorized Tags: boys vs. girls, dating, girls, megatron, power rangers, sex, the one, tv No Comments »
Crazy Girls, the number one bestseller on the Amazon Kindle Singles, is available for download from Amazon. Pills, drugs, alcohol, religious nuts, depression, cheating and the NYPD; comedian and writer Max Lance recounts his worst nights from the New York City dating scene. DOWNLOAD HERE
Max Lance is a writer, producer and performer. He was nominated for a Student Emmy, Humanitas Fellowship and was a finalist for the Page Screenplay Award. He writes features, TV and syndicates his blog while hosting the travel show The Trip Next Door and working at Chernin Entertainment. A New York City native, Max graduated the USC film school and now lives in Los Angeles.
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